I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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