we have pet lesbian snakes
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
