Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize