well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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