I'm laying in your front yard are you home
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
