SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's get the cat blown out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Your penis caused this!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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