remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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