Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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