How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
