booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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