still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
