I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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