Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
