like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
