he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
