We're facebook friends in real life
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
