I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
