My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
