worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
