I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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