Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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