party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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