Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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