paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
