trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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