Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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