Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
