how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
