i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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