You can't motorboat a personality
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
