he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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