You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
