I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
