What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
