So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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