i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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