you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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