He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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