You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
