redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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