i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize