I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
