i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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