It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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