ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
