I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
