I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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