Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
