I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can you bring me the toilet please
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
