Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
