remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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