Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
