Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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