Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
