so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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