Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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