if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you had me at cake vodka
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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