Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
