Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
