chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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