Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
