So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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