shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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