Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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