hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize